The Great Recycler of Pain

How God uses—and reuses—hurtful experiences in our lives.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/great-recycler-pain

BY ERIC SPEIR

"Unexpected Turns" by Ed Kerr

Throughout human history, people have struggled to know what to do with their pain. It's always hard. It rarely makes sense. And it never fits neatly into a box we can put away like we want it to. I experience this lesson firsthand a few years ago. 

After following what felt like God’s call on my life, I resigned from my ministry position to pursue my master's degree. In the transition process, my job and living arrangements collapsed. I ended up moving back to my hometown and was forced to live in my mother-in-law's garage with my wife and baby for the next six years.

IN JOSEPH’S LIFE, GOD TOOK HIS PAIN AND RECYCLED IT TO PREPARE JOSEPH FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE.

For the longest time I couldn't understand why things didn't work out for us. At times the pain and embarrassment of having our whole plan fall apart was more than I could bear. At the same time, I grew more in my relationship with God during those difficult years than I had in the previous years of my life combined.

I did complete my degree and ended up working on staff at a great church. My life is not how I envisioned it, but is strangely better than I could have planned in many ways.

In the New Testament, Jesus was clear about pain when He said, "In this world you will have trouble" (John 16:33). And countless biblical characters prove this—as well, of course, as Jesus’ sacrifice of Himself. But one particular character can teach us much about how to respond to pain.

Joseph went through a great deal of pain, and in the process, God salvaged his personal pain for the benefit of others.

A summary of Joseph's life can be found in Psalm 105:17-22:

And he sent a man before them—Joseph, sold as a slave. They bruised his feet with shackles, his neck was put in irons, till what he foretold came to pass, till the word of the Lord proved him true. The king sent and released him, the ruler of peoples set him free. He made him master of his household, ruler over all he possessed, to instruct his princes as he pleased and teach his elders wisdom.

Pain is not something that can be discounted, and an element of it is present in all of our lives. In Joseph’s life, God took his pain and recycled it to prepare Joseph for a brighter future. And He is able to do the same in our lives.

PEOPLE WHO ENDURE A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN ARE OFTEN ELEVATED TO A GREATER DEGREE OF INFLUENCE BECAUSE OF THE INSIGHT GLEANED THROUGH IT.

              Pain Has a Way of Purifying and Cleansing Our Hearts
              Pain is Usually Just for a Season in Our Lives
             Pain Will Prepare Us for Future Leadership
             Pain Provides a Good Education
             Pain Provides Us with a Platform to Speak From
             Pain Makes Us More Sensitive to the Needs of Others

The Hebrew word for "proved" and "true" is to refine and purge. Earlier in his life, because a lack of maturity, we know Joseph was arrogant toward his brothers. Anyone who is thrown into a well and then sold as a slave by family is bound to get pretty angry. Yet later in his life, Joseph grew more humble and compassionate toward his brothers. We know this because he wept when he saw them and chose forgiveness over revenge.

Joseph was 30 years old when he became governor of Egypt. Joseph went through many years of pain, but it didn't last forever. Many scholars believe he was about 16 years old when he was sold as a slave. This means he spent about 14 years in different situations—from slavery to jail—before landing in Pharaoh's house.

Joseph saw an upward progression of pain in his life, but he also saw an upward progression in leadership and responsibility. Joseph went from running Potiphar's house to Pharaoh's prison to Pharaoh's kingdom. Because of Joseph's experience in the school of hard knocks, he was made master over Pharaoh's household and kingdom. 

Because of Joseph's experience in administrating households and prisons, he was able to lead a nation during some of its most difficult years. God used Joseph to lead a nation during a national crisis and in the process he kept a countless number of people from starving to death. If we allow it, our pain can become someone else's deliverance or salvation. This is modeled in Jesus' life as we are the beneficiaries of his personal pain.

Earlier in his life—because of a lack of experience—Joseph’s visionary words were perceived as arrogance. But after he had life experience to speak from, Joseph’s words were received as wisdom. Joseph was consulted by the princes and elders of Egypt (Psalm 105:22). He spoke to the politicians, merchants and the influencers of Egypt. People who endure a great deal of pain are often elevated to a greater degree of influence because of the insight gleaned through it.

When Joseph was approached by the people who hurt him, he wept instead of seeking retaliation. Years of suffering changed who he was. Because of his own experiences, he was enabled to see the pain in the lives of others and to respond with compassion.

Pain is unavoidable in this life. But if we will let it, pain can be used to prepare us for our futures—and it can be turned around to serve others and further God’s Kingdom.

Eric is a pastor, writer and college professor who lives with his wife and children near Atlanta, Ga. He likes to encourage others to live life by the Book. He blogs regularly at EricSpeir.comand you can follow him on Twitter @ericspeir.

Praise you in the Storm / Stained Glass Masquerade / Love Them Like Jesus

This afternoon I stopped by Salem Storehouse, our Christian bookstore here in Ottawa. A friend had given me a CD for my birthday that I already had, and graciously allowed me to return it for another. In searching for a replacement I came across a live CD of a group that I love called Casting Crowns (http://www.castingcrowns.tv/) - something about their overall presentation has drawn me to them since the first sampling. I love their sound - strong, tight, solid, driving ... but more than that ... I love the sense of 'real life' they have - mixed with the true heart of Jesus. They challenge us to BE the heart of Jesus to others ...

What does that mean? It means a heart that isn't afraid to walk into the middle of someone's pain and suffering. Its imperfections, its failures ... its grays ... its disappointments ... its lack of answers and fairness... I've been a Christian now for ... hmmmm ... (2006 - 1977 = 29) 29 years (I don't say that to boast by any means - because in God's terms - years doesn't always mean maturity!).

I've heard so many sermons, I hate to think of all that I'm responsible for hearing, and have probably only applied to my life less than 1/4 of them... if that! I've been in ministry and so know both sides of the "Christian" picture ... the good and the bad ... the disappointing harshness of human nature vs. the wonderful grace of God. I've been just as guilty about sheepishly withdrawing from those painful situations in other's lives that I didn't understand, or have answers to. I've questioned the issue of grace vs. law as much as anyone. But honestly - the older I got, the more pain I saw in the lives of people around me - some self inflicted, some not. But what I always got from the picture that scripture paints of Jesus was that he always rushed in, where others feared to tread.

As time passed more friends I knew were faced with difficult situations, and I was - with every situation - given the test of which side to fall on ... law or Grace. I didn't always know which scripture it was that could back me - but I had the character and nature of who God was --- and that gave me enough reason to err on the side of Grace. And I'm glad today I did ... because Grace allowed me to be witness to their transformation from hurt to healing. But even in that - it was easier to be on the side of giving compassion --- than on the side of one needing compassion. Little did I know that in time, my understanding of that Grace would be put to the test.... and I would be the one needing compassion?

In 2003 my world was turned upside-down when my 22 year marriage faced the truth - it had died long before the 22nd year. Though not without good efforts to bring it back to life ... facing the truth of that was devastating - and one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. The steps I've had to walk since then have been both the most real blessing I've known and a painful eye opening experience.

I've learned that there were and still are people in my life that will stand by me at any cost - even if it wasn't easy for them to do so, and if they themselves were criticized for doing so ... they were with me in the darkest days, and were to me - the heart of Jesus - until my heart could feel him again. I also learned what it was like to be the focus of the critical eye of those who had a difficult time 'coping' with my tragedy - overlooking my massive internal emotional bleeding, as they struggled to 'deal' with my 'situation', finally choosing the 'exit' door as the best way to 'deal'.

By the way ... this brings me to a beef I have ... where are the books on recovery from divorce in the Christian world? There's a ton of them in the regular book stores! Oh, I know there are a few ... but very few. With all the stats we hear today on divorce, let alone Christian divorce ... there must be so many hurting people - living with guilt, condemnation and false judgment ... that need to know God's grace in the middle of this loss ... and still we wonder why our churches merely recycle members from one church to another - or why attendance is lower than it should be? .... hmmmm

The ending of a marriage is a death - to both people involved ... we morn every other death, come from miles to be near them, gather around them as they cry, bring food to those left behind, stand beside those who are barely able to stand at that time. But with divorce ... it's a taboo thing - associated with a public sin.... and so we step away - just as the Pharisees did with the woman caught in adultery ... it's simply too uncomfortable. And maybe the reason for the lack of comfort is a God given conviction that for many of us "There but by the grace of God goes I!"

I'm grateful for those in my life that didn't abandon me --- but kept the heart of Jesus beating in their chests as they prayerfully walked with me, even if all I could feel at the time was the reverberation of his heart in them ... it kept him close to me.

My innocent understanding that every Christian had 'minimally' at their core, the grace and absolute unconditional love of Jesus - was ultimately, and necessarily shattered - from those who didn't know better to those who should have. I've been surprised at times where it came from. Though with time - the shock has gotten to be less. It's a simple reality for me now, as even the presence of some family members has evaporated, lost in their need to 'cope' with my loss and failure of my marriage.

Do you know that even with all I've lost - if you were to ask me today if I'd go back to what I lived in before - a marriage of facade, with its unhealthy reality - I would make the same decision today? I'm thankful that God gave me enough courage to do what needed to be done - and face what needed to be exposed. I am left with a sense of loss - loss of family, loss of friends, and loss of trust in people (though is that a bad thing? The jury's out. After all scripture warns about trusting in the arm of flesh - or man - rather "We will trust in the name of the Lord our God!") --- The loss of innocence. Still, as I sat the other night over supper with the faithful friend who gave me that CD for my birthday - for the first time, I said out loud - "I like who I am today ... I like that I am more the authentic me than I've ever been." The cost was large ... but the end result ... a gift - redeemed by a God that promised nothing less for lives in ruin - redemption.

But back to today, as I was driving in my car with tears rolling down my cheeks, and listening to these songs, I knew His voice - and that unmistakable sense that he wants me to 'get SOMETHING here' .... He wanted me to hear ---- that no matter who stands and falls next to me - he won't be one of the ones that exit, evaporates, shrinks away or judges - he will walk in - when others walk out --- in the middle of the chaos and confusion, in the middle of the darkness and lack of answers, in the pain, the shame, the sadness, and the recovery ... I am coming to learn in such a deeper way - something I heard and even said so many times, but KNOW better now ... he alone is truly faithful, able to give perfect unfailing love, ever embracing, ever unfailing, ever merciful, ever abounding in grace ... and because of this ... my heart is healed and healing ... Thank you, Casting Crowns - for hearing the voice of God, and translating it into music - so that more of us can hear the 'Voice of Truth'. The Voice of the One that longs to pick up every one of his children who have been left behind by confused 'christians' who will in all likelihood at some point need the same Grace and compassion they fell short of giving. "God, we humbly ask that you reverberate in our hearts your Grace and compassion at all times - to those deserving, and especially to those who aren't - so that all would come to know true GRACE."

"I guess what God is showing me is that sometimes he calms the storms in our lives, and sometimes he rides the waves with us, but either way - blessed be the name of the Lord ..." Mark Hall, lead singer of Casting Crowns.


Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now, God You would have reached down
and wiped my tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

More from the same CD ... with the same heart ... and oh how true - as one who has been on both sides now of the pulpit and the pew ... so so true!

"My grace is sufficient for you - my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness because I know that the power of Christ rests in me. That's why for Christ's sake I will delight in my weakness and in my hardship and in my difficulties because when I am weak, then I am strong."~ Paul

"What I think we need to hear from each other is that 'we are broken people made whole'. I don't think it bothers the world that we sin, I think it bothers them that we act like we don't. The best way to walk with Jesus is to show what kind of losers he can change and the people he can use."





"Stained Glass Masquerade"

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

And this is just such a simple answer to "What do we do?" for those who we don't know how to BE with in the midst of their pain --- And yet, it's such a simple calling ... to all of us ... 'Love them like Jesus" ... I know, this is all I longed for from those people in my life that "struggled" with my struggle ... I challenge you, as I challenge myself ... don't step away from the people around you in pain because of your discomfort ... just be with them ... and if Jesus is in you, 'being there' is loving them like Jesus would.



Love Them Like Jesus

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus

Less Like Scars ...

How cool that this video starts with my life verse ... JER 29:11 ... love the HOPE that verse holds ... a reminder that no matter where or how I see myself, he is always aware of what lies ahead, he's not discouraged or un-nerved by things that come my way, or bad decisions I make ... he doesn't stop believing in the one HE created me to be. He still sees the potential ...

This video could very much be my Blog theme song. Most of the difficult days are behind me now, and healing days are still ahead of me, it may take longer than I think it should! Go figure!!

Sometimes I see no changes at all... impatient ... sometimes I wonder if any healing is happening at all. It's usually only when I am looking around at the immediate and the most recent that I see no progress. It's hard to see any changes from that vantage point. But every so often, He gives me a higher and wider perspective - a vantage point that allows me to see the disappointment that's been turned into acceptance, the hurt that's been turned to grace and forgiveness, and the valuable lessons learned not from a life of perfection ... but a life lived --- searching for and finding Him in the rubble, seeing his purpose in the scars ...

Did you ever wonder why God doesn't always allow scars to heal? Sometimes he wants us to remember that healing does come ... and the scar is proof!

I can say with contentment and reassurance today ... so much of the pain I knew only years ago is looking less like the pain I thought I'd never know an end to ... and more like his purpose and character in my life. As strange as it may sound ... I won't pray the scars completely disappear ... because I want to remember what he's done for me.

Less Like Scars
by Sara Groves

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard, Healing changes are subtle

But every day it's...

Less like tearing more like building
Less like captive more like willing
Less like breakdown more like surrender
Less like haunting more like remember

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars and more like character

Less like a prison a prison more like my room
Less like a casket more like a womb
Less like dying more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out
Hoping you would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you...

And I know you're here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars
And in your hands the pain and hurt
look less like scars
And in your hands the pain and hurt

look less like scars
And more like character

Do It Anyway

Recently, some very good friends of mine were going through an unfounded and uninvited questioning of their character, in a very public way. This came more from the sad and insecure personal issues of another, who - in my estimation - felt threatened and envious of the respect these people have earned - from many who know them. Week in and week out ... as I sat over coffee I would hear the pain this situation was causing their hearts. It broke mine to watch this.

Life isn't fair, is it? 'LIFE SHOULD BE FAIR'- I don't think I ever signed up for that subscription!!! Somewhere along the line, something made me think it should be! SHOULD BE? There's that word ... 'Should' ... I've learned not to trust it when I say it, it's highly problematic ... why? Because who am I in God's will to say what 'should' be? ... Hoping, praying and having faith that something 'might be' ... is another thing.

Be careful when you hear yourself say 'They should have ... it should have ... you should have ... I should have' dangerous words those. Long and short - none of us escapes the hit of unfairness. And my friends were right in the middle of a situation they didn't do anything to earn or warrant. It wasn't fair...

I was at work one night, thinking (and praying) for them ... that they'd be strong, that God would protect them and bring truth. I was feeling unable to help them in any practical way that would immediately change anything. Then I heard this song ... and I knew God had given me a way to encourage them. I sent them the song and the lyrics... ....

By the way, God did rescue them, and has brought truth again. I'm happy to say that in it all I never saw them quit - quit in their character, or in their desire to live to please God. The stood in and under the protective hand of God, and are an inspiration to me. In the face of false accusation --- they lived to please and to praise God ANYWAY.

Sometimes God's requirement of us is 'Do it ANYWAY' ... in the face of false accusations 'Do It ANYWAY', in the face of misunderstanding 'Do it ANYWAY', in heartbreak and heartache 'Do It ANYWAY' ... Not because you SHOULD, because for all he has done for you ... all he asks is to do all he has called you to ANYWAY ... your reward is from Him and he never is unfair! ....

DO IT ANYWAY

Martina McBride 

You can spend your time building
something from nothing
one storm can come and blow it all away,
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway
 
God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray it doesn't always turn
out like I think it should
But I do it anyway,
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
and it's getting harder to beleive,
that tomorrow will be better than today,
Believe it anyway
 
You can love someone with all your heart
for all the right reasons,
and then in a moment they can choose
to walk away,
Love them anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea I do it anyway 

You can pour out singing - a song you beleive in
that tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway,
Yea sing it anyway
 
I sing ....

I dream ...

I love ....

Anyway

.............................................................................................................................

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered,
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives,
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies,
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow,
Do good anyway.

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable,
Be honest and transparent anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight,
Build anyway.

People who really want help may attack you if you help them,
Help them anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt,
Give the world your best anyway.

The world is full of conflict,
Choose peace of mind anyway.

- Mother Theresa